erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
