Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize