I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
