break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
