Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize