nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
