My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
