Dual....:-)
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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