I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
