around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Randomize
