I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize