I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's always time for handjobs
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
