I want to stick my p in your. b.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
