People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize