I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He felt like a one man threesome
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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