the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
