I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
