Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Randomize
