If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
