they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
