just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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