she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
