i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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