We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
