Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
