Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize