are you still at the devil's house?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
