DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Too much gin, very little bucket
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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