okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
