Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
