It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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