Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize