She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
