I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
