It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
