do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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