Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
