xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
