totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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