don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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