btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize