I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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