Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize