I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
