There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
