that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
