Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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