Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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