I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
