it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
