I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
