I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There's even glitter on my cock...
please don't ironically join a cult
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