she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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