I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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