What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize