Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
