I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize