I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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