her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize