angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize