lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize