I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
