If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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