didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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