Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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