I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
