He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
