Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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