I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
