I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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