no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
