Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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